Spunk bubble

Only in England. I am always fascinated by the television shows here in the UK. They're often ground breaking shows, series and documentaries covering a variety of subjects. The most recent one I saw, last night, was A Girl’s Guide to 21st Century Sex. When I first flipped to the channel I was greeted by an interesting site: a penis entering a vagina, but from the prospective of the vagina. They actually had a camera inside the woman’s vagina to catch all the action. Then, the narrator broke it down, step by step, and explained how certain movements and sensations are what gear up our bodies to procreate. It was a fascinating, candid look you’d never get in the US. And there was nothing pornographic about it.

So what about this spunk bubble? After the show about sex, a weekly sitcom came on called Swinging. It reminded me a bit of the show The Office in the US. A new member of the staff at “Fuchs and Swallows” was going through orientation and was being taken around and introduced to his new colleagues. However, when the female guide would introdude him to someone, like a women with large breasts, she’d say, “This is Molly. But you would greet her with something like, ‘Nice rack, yeah.’” Every person she intorduced him to came with an alternate greeting that was simply hillarious, but ever so inappropriate. At one point they were walking through the office and the female guide said, “That’s the water cooler, it looks like a penis, this is George, he looks like a penis, and that’s the book case, which looks like a penis.” Of course, none of them look like a penis.

They eventually get to a flip chart with a penis drawn on it. To which the guide says, “If you get to a flip chart with a penis already drawn on it, join the fun and add some pubes and maybe a spunk bubble.” I just about pissed my pants laughing. It was so stupid, but hysterical.

One of my first “experiences” with television in the UK occurred years ago on a layover here. There was a show about male vanity and how men are catching up with women. The show followed three men, two of them straight and one of them gay. The show went on to showcase how gay men long ago caught up with women, but straight men are starting to pay more attention to their bodies, in particular their skin and image. One chap, who was straight, went to a salon to get “sugared.” It’s like wax, but instead of wax they use sugar. So what did he have sugared? He opted for the “back, sack and crack” special. Yeah, use your imagination. Since we’re in the UK here, they didn’t just tell us about the procedure, they actually showed it... back, sack, crack and all. It was utterly painful to watch, but interesting at the same time. The next day that show was all the buzz on the crew bus back to the airport. It seems as though most on the crew watched the show. We all got a good chuckle out of it. Only in the UK.

Letterman vs. O'Reilly

9/11 Special Comment - Keith Olbermann

A searing endictment of the Bush Administration. I wish I would have watched it sooner.

Konichiwa

Hello from Japan! I traded a trip I had this weekend to Brussels for one to Japan. I've never been before, so this is very exciting! The flight from New York to here was long at about 13 and a half hours, but well worth it once here. We left New York at about noon on Friday and arrived in Narita at 2:30pm on Saturday. The time change is killer! 13 hours ahead of New York, 16 hours ahead of the west coast. It's 7:30am Sunday morning here now, but 6:30pm Saturday night in North Carolina.

When we arrived at the hotel yesterday, we hit the ground running, with just enough time for a quick shower. We headed off to Green Street where we were surprised to find the street was closed to vehicle traffic as there is a guitar festival going on this weekend. All down the narrow street various bands were set up playing music. It was really cool. Green Street is popular with crew members because it is loaded with "100 Yen" stores (a dollar store) and great restaurants that are inexpensive to eat at. There are also a few malls in the area flight attendants like to visit. Today, I think I am going to head back to the area since there is a Buddhist Temple there I would like to visit. I've seen pictures of it and it's just beautiful... will be great to see it in person.

I had a lot of fun with the crew members that I went out with last night. I was thankful to have a few tour guides, each knowing the best places to go and two even spoke Japanese... all the better. There was one other "virgin" on the trip (you know, another flight attendant who hadn't been to Japan yet) so she and I had a great time checking it all out and were thankful we had experienced guides.

So, where am I in Japan? Well, the easiest answer is Tokyo, but we're not really there. We flew into Narita, the main international airport that serves Tokyo, although it takes about an hour to get to Tokyo from here (from what I'm told). On the way here, we took a very northern route from New York, flying up through Canada, north of Alaska over the Beaufort and Chuchki Seas and then down the eastern coast of Russia, along the Bering Sea and Pacific Ocean. While flying over Russia, we saw some amazing mountains and an active volcano with steam spewing out of it. That was cool, although a little disconcerting since we practically flew over that one. I spent about an hour up in the cockpit just checking out the landscape. It is so barren out there, but just amazing. I flew over Russia! I was able to take a three hour break on the flight, where I tucked myself in the crew bunks and slept, happily, the entire time. I had gotten up about 4:00am so I could commute from Raleigh to New York. By the time I landed in Narita, I had been up about 21 hours (not including my nap) and then we hit the ground running. Needless to say, I slept like a baby when I finally did fall asleep, despite the bed being barely softer than the floor.

I am so excited to be here! When I get home I'll upload pix from my camera and who you all more. That'll have to wait a few days, however, as I am heading to England Monday and won't be back to North Carolina until Wednesday. Rough, I know!

You know you live in the country when...

You hear shotgun blasts outside your house. Last night while surveying our yard, we heard a loud shotgun blast. Poor deer. Maybe the shooter missed. This morning, I heard three shotgun blasts about five minutes apart from one another. What, did the guy miss with the first two? Surely one shot would scare the deer away. I don't know. I have no problem with hunting, as long as it is done responsibly and the animals are respected. I'll be the first to admit I love deer meat (denizen), especially when Doris pan fries little denizen steaks for breakfast. Truly Wisconsin. I just don't want to know how/when/where the deer died, or what was done to make it edible. I just want it to be on my plate so I can pretend that's where it's always been.

Do we really live in the sticks? Well, kind of. We are only about 30 minutes drive from downtown Raleigh and only five minutes drive from downtown Fuquay-Varina (few-kwae vuh-reena). Where we live, however, has a distinctly rural feel. We live on an acre, and most of the homes in our development are on between one and two acres, so the community itself lends a rural feel. We aren't out of civilization by any means, but it is nice to know we live in an area where we can be in and enjoy nature, right in our own yard. The Triangle area (Raleigh/Durham... called the triangle because UNC Chapel Hill, NC State and Duke all create a triangle if you were to connect the dots) has a very different feel than anywhere I've lived before. It is heavily wooded and, even when in the middle of the city, you can't see that far. Trees hover over the area, so you always feel like you're in the sticks, even when you are in the heart of the city. It's very cool, but interesting to get used to. Without the compass in my mirror, I'd never know which way is north, south, east or west.

My new favorite saying

Things I don't like about NC

1. Carnage. The amount of animal carcasses on the side of the road is distressing: a) Because I don't want to see it and b) because I am afraid there are so many animals it's just a matter of time before I hit one. I DON'T EVER WANT TO DO THAT. I am the type where I'd rather hit a tree or some other object than hit an animal, even if hitting that other object may mean more serious damage to me and my vehicle. On my way to the airport the other morning something large, had to have been a deer, was mangled in the middle of the road. It had to have been fairly fresh because there was stuff, lots of stuff, all over the place. I don't tell you this to gross you out, but as therapy for me and a means of seeking sympathy from you. It's flat out awful, and I hate seeing it.

2. The education system. Yeah, it sucks. We read all kinds of good things about public education here that just simply aren't panning out. Much of the information on the state education website and district website where SpyC teaches is misleading, especially in terms of pay. SpyC finally received her state license to teach in NC today and they did not include her Masters in Education on it... which means they aren't paying her masters pay. Bullshit. That's a significant drop in her annual salary, and it's cause for considering either leaving teaching all together, moving to another capacity within education, or move. The problem is, we like it here. We like Raleigh, we like the weather, the landscape, we love our house and the property it sits on. There are tough decisions ahead. Spy loves teaching, and that is exactly what she wants to be doing right now. But all be damned if they (the state) are going to get her masters training for free. NC has outlawed teacher's unions here, so there is very little she can do to fight it. Leaving might be her only option.

3. It's expensive as hell to fly here. Prices for air travel have gone up quite a bit in the last year, but that's good for me since my job depends on the airlines making money. Air fares have been artificially low the past five years, half the reason the airlines are in the trouble they're in. However, Raleigh seems to be paying their fair share and then some. And among the worst? Southwest. I have yet to buy/recommend Southwest to anyone in and out of here because they are frequently the most expensive. My parents recently flew here on American, and that's not because I work for them... AA was the cheapest. SpyC is flying Northwest in a week and a half to Portland, OR for a wedding. Where's Southwest, our low fare leader? Jetblue has decent fares from here to New York, where you can then connect to many places. But their flights are often full and you can't even book a ticket. Ugh! And to think, American used to have a hub here. This place is sorely lacking adequate air service, and as a result, fares are artificially high.

4. Yes, this is the bible belt, yes this is the south, and yes there are a lot of churches here. However, Raleigh is a pretty progressive area for being in the south and the impact of religion on us has been minimal, if any at all. Although it's interesting to be in various establishments, like restaurants, and have them come over the loud speaker with opportunities to "keep and spread the faith."* For now I find it novel and laugh. So, it officially isn't a dislike yet, it's entertainment. But I'm sure that'll change, so I'll include it here.

* While eating at the Golden Coral with ma, pa, ma-in-law, grandma and SpyC a few days ago, the restaurant manager came over the PA with a notice of some religious athletic group that was performing that evening, and that if we didn't have anything else to do and wanted to "keep and spread the faith" we were invited to attend. Lovely. I think I'm busy.

Am I really 30?

I woke up this morning in time to enjoy the last few minutes of my twenties the mourned when the witching hour came and went: 7:59am.

Dope... I am now 30 years old. The birthday came and went without much fanfare, which is exactly how I wanted it to be. Moving cross country pretty much sealed the deal that it would be a low key event, but that's just fine. I am not remorseful, whispy or regretful of turning 30, but it will take some getting used to that I am no longer twenty-something. One of the birthday cards I got read, "If turning 50 is the new 30, then 30 must be the new 10." Yeah, I like that one.

Beth's mom and grandma left this morning and my parents arrived last night. It's been a busy week leading up to the big day. I'm glad my parents made it out here not only to see the new house and to tour the area, but to celebrate the day with me. Sofakitty and a friend came over to help me celebrate. I had wanted to make crab legs for my birthday, and I did. Everyone thought it was weird that I wanted to cook on my birthday, but I really did want to. I ended up making these huge crab legs that weighed about a pound each and a dish called Frogmore Stew. That recipe is now in The Recipe Box. It was nice to have a low key night and enjoy one another's company. Happy Birthday to me!

Busy, busy with company

I arrived home Saturday morning from a long month of reserve (on-call at work) and hit the ground running. SpyC's ma and g-ma arrived the night before on Friday. I came home and showered and it was off to the mall. It's been a busy, but fun week with them. On Sunday, we visited the North Carolina Botanical Gardens on the campus of UNC at Chapel Hill. After we visited the garden, we drove through the campus and around the town, ate dinner and headed back to Fuquay-Varina.

On Monday, SpyC was back to work so the ladies and I hit up another mall. Came home, picked up Beth and it was off to Smithfield's (classic Carolina BBQ, so I'm told) and Michael's to get some Fall decorations. On Tuesday, the ladies and I headed up to the Mordecai Historic neighborhood. We toured the Mordecai House, the oldest house in Raleigh on its original foundation and birthplace of former President Andrew Johnson. The house is located on what was a five thousand acre cotton plantation, which was later coverted to corn. The history there was pretty interesting, and I enjoyed the tour.

On Wednesday, we headed to the coast to visit SofaKitty's parents, see their beautiful house and dip our toes into the Atlantic Ocean. As SpyC's mom said, it's beautiful there. She had only seen the Atlantic from New York and New Jersey and admitted it was entirely different here. The sand is amazing and the water warm. It's just amazing, and I'd love to live there someday. Today we headed to High Point, NC, the furniture capital of the country. We visited one furniture warehouse, spent an hour there, and saw maybe one fourth of the store. It was huge, and it seems all the furniture places there are at least that big. I am anxious to go back there with SpyC and check out more deals... we need end tables in the living room, patio furniture and rockers for our front porch.

On Monday night, on our way home to pick up Beth, we witnessed a pretty bad car accident. There was a car driving kind of irratically... enough that he was making nervous so I held back to keep my distance. He kept speeding up and slowing down and would not maintain his lane. At one point, he really hit the gas and took off. A little ways up the road, the car went of the road, over-corrected, got back on the road, fish-tailed and shot off into a ditch where it flipped. All right in front of us. It was very scary. We pulled over. Dale got out to help the victims and I called 911. The police/fire/ambulance arrived very quickly. Dale could smell alcohol on the driver's breath... I never got close to him or the passengers. I stayed back with Vivian, spoke with the police about what I witnessed and filled out a witness statement.



In the picutre, you can see the car was righted. Some passers-by who saw the accident righted the car so the female passenger in the back could get out. In the end, one passenger suffered a broken arm. What happened from there, we aren't sure. We're assuming the driver was arrested for DUI, but we left before that might have happened. The whole thing was pretty traumatic and we're thankful they were all ok. It was scary to witness, and I'd rather not ever see that again. The accident looked bad enough we were truly worried about what we'd find when we pulled over. Of course it was all very quick, but plays over and over in slow motion in my mind. I am just glad I was able to keep my distance from him and not be involved in the accident myself.