Funny, funny things come in e-mails...here's a few of the better ones.

Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
This isn't an office, it's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
I started out with nothing...still have most of it left.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Chaos, panic, disorder - my work here is done.
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.